oh where does the time go?

when was the last time i read a full book? it was probably more than a year ago...the thought depresses me...quite some time ago, i saw myself as a freelance novelist who wrote dark fiction...now i can't even compose a decent blog without either rambling unweighty BS or losing my train of thought.

it's not that i don't see the value of reading but that i can barely find the time to read anymore. the time of the day i have left after work is left to sleeping. which makes my life an endless cycle of sleep, work and eat. other than reading, there are a ton of other activities i would kill to be able to find the time: working out, decluttering my room, learning how to cook, hitchhiking, the list could go on. but again, all i could ever manage to do once i get off work is sleep.

it's probably just an issue of personal time management. i'm sure a number of people have the same sentiments about their lives. the only difference between a doer and a thinker (the stage i am still currently at) is the action. you see, i have this disease that i can't seem to shrug off. i procrastinate. and i'm sure that this is what primarily wastes the most of my time.

ok, let me be entirely honest about it then. i don't necessarily spend most of my time off work sleeping. well i do get stuck in ayala or some other place just chilling out, dining out or window shopping. and yes, i know, they're all a total waste of time. which is what again led me to the realization that i procrastinate.

here's the rundown...i spend two hours after shift at ayala to just eat and then mall around. the more successful people would spend the whole two hours in this manner: 30 mins - eat lunch, 15 mins - stop for a cup of coffee and reading the paper, 15 mins - organize their day or the next day, 10 mins - calling up their contacts, 30 mins - reassessing their goals and making an action plan, 20 mins - getting to that place they need to be to start hitting their goals.

and this further derails me. why can these power people have the committment to manage their life in such an efficient and effective manner. why can't i?

julia fordham was right to ask, "where does the time go?" i have my own answer to that. in useless crap! so i've got my goals reassessed. and i'm starting my new year's resolution: stop procrastinating! and i'll start it today or tomorrow! we'll see!